Southern Cajun Momma

I’ve been in the medical field for almost 20 years. I’ve seen the highs and lows of it, as I’m sure others have seen in their industry. I can tell you one thing!!! When the lows hit, it sends my anxiety through the roof. My anxiety is equivalent to being restrained in one of those white suits and being strapped down to a stretcher. I just sit there motionless, staring off at whatever object catches my attention and the room has to be completely silent.

I’m a problem solver and a planner. Sha don’t mess with my plans or interupt my normal because my anxiety ain’t having none of that. Soooo, when work slows down and I’m working less, my anxiety comes a knocking. Oh mais no I don’t like that, sha. I’m looking around the house like “what can I sell if I need to make up those hours? Dang it!! I just got rid of a bunch of stuff last week because I couldn’t tolerate the chaos. You know I could’ve sold some of that. What was I thinking?” We don’t live paycheck to paycheck. I’d like to think we’ve been smart with our finances but like I said “I’m a planner. ” I plan on working X amount of hours weekly and receiving X amount on our paychecks as scheduled. If this is tampered with, poo yie my anxiety is like “hello darling! You need to figure this out! Fix this now! Don’t wait!”
Out of anyone’s control work has slowed down once again due to unforseen events. I’m sitting and thinking “You go girl! Thank goodness you got ahead on those hours last week! It’s ok if you don’t work for the rest of the week.” Then anxiety shows up uninvited like “hey girllll!! It’s me!! Your best friend that makes you overthink and over analyze. You’re good this pay period but what about next?” Thanks for the reminder! Now I have to start planning for next pay period in case it remains the same. I’m sitting her racking my brain and about to go into a full blown panic attack when I hear a little voice say “Girlllll! How many times have you gone through this? Hasn’t God seen you through it all? You’re still here! It hasn’t destroyed you, yet. God has walked beside you through it all. Why are you listening to that foolish anxiety when you know God has your back?” This stopped me dead in my thoughts and I started scrolling through my phone to get my mind off of things. That’s when I see this:

“When you feel overwhelmed, you’re spending too much time with the world and not enough time with God. He is our peace!” Micah 5:5
Ok. I’m listening now! We’ve got this! It’s in your hands and I fully entrust in you and your plan.